Note to Myself

Okay, things are pretty awful lately, but it's normal right? People always have ups and downs in their life. It's just a matter of time when we realize we have to let go the things and people that make you sad. It'll be hard to let go of them at first, but then there's no point in holding them back. What for? To make them have a chance to make you sad again?

I know they are people who are important in your life, people who can make you laugh. They can make you happy, but they can make you sad too. If me, i choose not to take them in my life. I prefer to have my life flat :) no ups no downs since I really cannot handle the downs pretty well.

For sure i won't be with the person who thinks i am low :) I need somebody who can see the perfect in my imperfection, the one who trusts me completely, the one who thinks i am really worthy, values me so much and the one who never treats me like a scumbag.

and i am gonna slap my face if i still hold on to people who make me sad. I will get rid of them. Note that.

Pathetic Me

Being a pre-adult is really suck.

That sentence pretty much covers everything i want to say.

It's almost been a year since i have graduated from my beloved high school yet i still can't adapt to it well and i don't know why. I just can't be as happy as i was. I miss my old life. I really want it back.

After i've graduated from high school, my burdens kept being heavier. I should worry about a lot of things : work, college, cashflow, family, old friends, new friends and relationship, whereas in high school i just need to worry about my study and how was i going to spend my free time back then. It's ironic. I don't have much free time right now. I can't even finish reading a novel within a year. Whenever i had free time, i would choose to sleep. Sleeping is my remedy.

I know i'm not a child anymore and i can't whine, but my life at work is really not nice, it's stressful, full of pressure. Honestly, i dont enjoy it. I never enjoy it even for one second except when it's holiday. Maybe it's because of it that i can't move on from my old life. I had a pretty nice life last year and it has transformed into a hell.

Oh man, i just miss my high school friends so damn much. I miss you guys. I wish i could still laugh with them in the class wearing high school uniform and be the reckless girl like what i was back then. it's shameful that i'm crying right now. I just feel it's unfair that my happiness has been robbed away by time. h.a.h.a

Yeah. I'm really pathetic right now, aren't i?


Please give my happiness back,
The desperate girl.

List of People I’m Going To Miss

Graduation always has a deeper meaning inside it, which is ‘good-bye’, and I hate it. so much. I just hope that this is a temporary farewell. We’ll meet again someday, at the right place, at the right moment, and bring all the good memories come back again, make us feel that deja-vu once again.

Leaving my school behind, of course I’m going to miss all of my classmates, THE ZENITH:
Adeline Lisa
Aditya
Adrian Hartanto
Albert
Alvin Henri
Aryanti
Benson
Christine
Cindy Ardisa
Edric Yawin
Farah Dhiba
Freddyhan Suhargo
Gilvani Jurice
Hansel Otto Handoko
Hoko Wilopo
Jane Kosasih
Jefferson Louis
Michaela Darlene
Pandi Uwieto
Philbert Stanley
Priscarine
Sharine
Sheliany
Sherrilyn
Stefanie
Stella Tifany Tanry
Steven Tanny
Tediyanto
Timothy William
Tommy Chandra
Tommy Sachi
Vivian Tristan
Winny
Cashin Fitriady Setiawan
Jacky
Lindawaty
Tifany Beby Sonia Bangun.

I’m even going to miss my form teacher : Maniani Chandra (Chemistry), and all of the teachers who teach me in the third year of senior high school:

My physics teacher, Rajin Pardosi, who is always motivates us.
Ruth Angelia Silitonga (Biology)
Rosita (Mathematics)
Hebron S. (Bahasa) ,
Miss Eka (English)
Rosni (Religion)
Diana (Mandarin)
Tumpal (Civil)
Raymond (P.E.)
Hendy (Computer)
Budi (Chemistry Lab)
Intan (Biology Lab)

I’m going to miss my busmates too :

Ines
Irene
Angeline Tandiono
Vivi
Chrysillia
Henny Pinang
Monica Luis
Kellyn
Inayomi
Trifena
Vincent T.
vincent (tua pui)
Andreas Hartanto
Jeffry Hartanto

Oh, before i forget, i think that i should write down my winfield’s memory too (although I have graduated half year before). So I’m going to miss:

Mr. Patrick
Mr. Paul
Mr. Dustin
Ms. Suk ling
Evani (i don’t know how to spell the name)
Ms maggie
Ms. Devi
Ms. Vivi
Ms. Mariani

And of course I won’t forget my  winfieId’s friends, too:

Jessica
Jane Kosasih
Winny
Gilvani Jurice
Jesslyn
Jeffry
Chyntia
Rony
Kevin
Jospine
David
Agnese Putri
Jacky
Edric Yawin

I’m going to miss you all. Love you so much, and sorry if i’ve ever done mistakes. I just want to say thank you, thank you for being part of my life :’)

I don’t know why i did this, i just feel relieved after i wrote this. I feel secure. I’m not going to forget anybody!

The one who will miss you,

Elisa