Saturday, December 20, 2014

Note to Myself

Okay, things are pretty awful lately, but it's normal right? People always have ups and downs in their life. It's just a matter of time when we realize we have to let go the things and people that make you sad. It'll be hard to let go of them at first, but then there's no point in holding them back. What for? To make them have a chance to make you sad again?

I know they are people who are important in your life, people who can make you laugh. They can make you happy, but they can make you sad too. If me, i choose not to take them in my life. I prefer to have my life flat :) no ups no downs since I really cannot handle the downs pretty well.

For sure i won't be with the person who thinks i am low :) I need somebody who can see the perfect in my imperfection, the one who trusts me completely, the one who thinks i am really worthy, values me so much and the one who never treats me like a scumbag.

and i am gonna slap my face if i still hold on to people who make me sad. I will get rid of them. Note that.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Pathetic Me

Being a pre-adult is really suck.

That sentence pretty much covers everything i want to say.

It's almost been a year since i have graduated from my beloved high school yet i still can't adapt to it well and i don't know why. I just can't be as happy as i was. I miss my old life. I really want it back.

After i've graduated from high school, my burdens kept being heavier. I should worry about a lot of things : work, college, cashflow, family, old friends, new friends and relationship, whereas in high school i just need to worry about my study and how was i going to spend my free time back then. It's ironic. I don't have much free time right now. I can't even finish reading a novel within a year. Whenever i had free time, i would choose to sleep. Sleeping is my remedy.

I know i'm not a child anymore and i can't whine, but my life at work is really not nice, it's stressful, full of pressure. Honestly, i dont enjoy it. I never enjoy it even for one second except when it's holiday. Maybe it's because of it that i can't move on from my old life. I had a pretty nice life last year and it has transformed into a hell.

Oh man, i just miss my high school friends so damn much. I miss you guys. I wish i could still laugh with them in the class wearing high school uniform and be the reckless girl like what i was back then. it's shameful that i'm crying right now. I just feel it's unfair that my happiness has been robbed away by time. h.a.h.a

Yeah. I'm really pathetic right now, aren't i?


Please give my happiness back,
The desperate girl.